Main Entry: com·pas·sion
Date: 14th century
: sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it
synonyms see pity
What is compassion? Well, according to Webster's dictionary it is synonymous to pity and sympathy. But somehow I feel differently...
I've learned so so so much this summer, and I'm just beginning to scratch the surface of the heart of God. I have come to realize I'm so shallow in my understanding of what is required of me and how my lifestyle should show true compassion. The more and more I'm out here in the city, the more my faith becomes real; the more the words of the Bible become alive- and with that, my God comes alive. I've grown up in the church, reading verses like Isaiah 58 and Matthew 25 where our Creator plainly speaks about helping the poor and spending ourselves in their expense. In fact, it seems like my whole life I've read and studied verses that say something on the poor and I tend to overlook that part of the passage and focus on other parts. I've done this because it seemed to me like every single part of the Word spoke on the poor and I already knew I had to feed them, clothe them, etc. So I figured I could skip over it since I'd read it a kajillion times- it was old news to me. How many of us can say that is how we read? I think the majority of us do. We make a mental note of the word "poor" and then look for the meat of the verse that actually applies to us.
I truly and sincerely believe that the church and its body have robbed Jesus of his passion; his heart. We dull down his passion for the poor and don't put the weight on it as he did. We even go so far as to read the words in the Sunday sermon and then ignore the part where it calls us to actually go out and actively serve them. But that is disregarding the Word of God, where he says serving the poor is part of our salvation. In fact the entire Bible is dripping with God's heart and love for the poor, from beginning to end. If we really are reading and embracing the Word of God we can't deny that throughout the entire Bible God speaks on serving the poor as part of our life. We will be judged based on our care and compassion for our brothers and sisters. In Matthew 25 Jesus tells the parable of the Sheep and the Goats and how he will seperate us based on if we served Him by serving "the least of [His] brothers" or not (Matthew 25:40). For if we clothe the naked, feed the hungry, and visit the lonely, then we have clothed, fed, and comforted Christ. He didn't mean this figuratively, but literally. We can physically reach out and touch our Savior by reaching out and touching his children.
Let me elaborate a little. Bear with me :] Jesus performed miracles. Amazing, incredible, mindblowing acts that fed the hungry, healed the sick, and raised the dead. Then in John 14:12 Jesus tells his followers that he is going to the Father and that the Holy Spirit will be given in his absence. Jesus promises that with the Spirit we will "do even greater works than these". I don't know about you guys, but I am definitely not raising the dead, walking on water, or turning water into wine. How is it possible that we would do even greater things than the miracles that Jesus did? Jesus DID do miracles, but life did go on and the multitude that he fed with fish and loaves were hungry the next day, the sick eventually contracted another illness, and Lazurus died of old age later in life. What we remember about Jesus wasn't just the miraculous acts themselves, but we remember his love. The love that compelled him to do these miracles is the miracle itself, and his love is enduring. And the coolest part of this all is that we were given this love! With Jesus' love we are given the privelege of doing "even greater works" and to see miracles happen.
And one of the biggest things I've been learning is that with love comes true compassion. Compassion is not pity. It's not a sympathetic feeling or thinking to yourself "oh, poor thing". In fact, the Gospels express that our God knows and fully experiences the brokenness of our human condition. In Mark 1:41, for example, it says the Jesus was "moved with compassion". Translated directly, it says he was moved in his splagchna, entrails, guts, "the place where our most intimate and intense emotions are located". We get an even better picture when we look at the old Hebrew word for compassion, rachamim which refers to the womb of Yahweh. Compassion is so deep, so central, and so powerful, that it is described as a movement of the womb of God. It is a guttural feeling that forces us to act, to serve. That is true compassion.
The story of the leper is such an intense story. This story is found in Matthew 8:1-3 or Mark 1:40-42. I was talking above about the love that Jesus had for his children and how the intense love was expressed in his miracles. When the leper saw Jesus coming down the mountain, he knelt in front of him and begged Jesus to heal him because he had faith that he could. And He did. The most incredible thing about this is not just that He is our powerful Healer (which he is, hallelujah!) but that he reach out and touched a leper- this man who most likely hadn't been touched. Ever. When lepers would walk through the streets people would call out to the others and tell them to get away so that they wouldn't be infected with the disease. How lonely a life a leper must live when they can't even be in the general area of other human beings. And yet Jesus reached out and touched him- moved by compassion and love for him.
This is true compassion, the compassion we should acquire when we are really living in the Spirit. I believe with everything I am that our God is a God of Healing. He is our healer. And our Jesus was moved with love for his people that he lived among the sick, hungry, dirty, forgotten people. And when we are given the Spirit to live in us and when we die to ourselves (Galatians 2:20) then we can't ignore that calling. We are physically incapable of not acting on that love, because that love is the miracle the Holy Spirit gives us.
Since this our reality as believers and lovers of the true and holy God, we can't just read the Bible and ignore the heart He has for the poor. We are told time and time again, in every book, that we are to care for and have compassion for the poor. This requires us to change the way we value God's word, the way we view the heart of God, and the way we act on his word. We can't just make a mental note anymore and we can't rob Him of his fiery passion for the poor, the sick, the lonely. The Bible tells us more times than I can count that our salvation and future judgement is tied up with the salvation of our brother's and sister's who were created in the image and likeness of God. The reason we serve is not because we're good people. We serve them because they were entrusted with a little piece of God at their creation, and we love them to affirm that divine spark. We are not good people, we just love our God. So we love his children.
One last thing that has been on my heart is reality of who Jesus is. I mentioned that we rob Jesus of his heart, and I believe that wholeheartedly. Here's why: never in my life have I been told or have I acknowledged that Jesus was homeless. He traveled from place to place and stayed wherever he could find lodging. He relied on others to feed him along the way and to give him a shelter at night. The Jesus we know and the Jesus described in the Holy Scriptures was not crucified just for helping the poor, but he was crucified for joining them. This is the Jesus we serve, the Jesus we love more than anything in the world. When we read for ourselves we can't deny it. We are called to radically live out the gospel and radically follow our Savior.
With this realization, I want to pose the question that Shane Clairborne posed to me: How can we worship a homeless man on Sunday and then ignore one on Monday? We shouldn't stifle the Holy Spirit and choose to only serve on Sundays, where we're comfortable, safe. I don't want you guys to take my word for it, don't believe me. Dive into the scriptures and ask that you can see the world through God's eyes by reading the word. All of the answers are in there, and when we read it with an honest heart we see the truth. I encourage everyone to really dig in and see for yourself the heart of God. Because when I finally started reading and valuing the words in it my God became alive, powerful. I'm starting to physically see Him, to see his Words breathing and tangible. In Deuteronomy 32:47, Moses is talking Israel about the sovereignty of God's promises, his words. He assures them that "it is no empty word for you, but your very life". How incredible would it be if we believed that every word spoken by God is alive and capable of transforming our very lives in an extremely real and physical way. His words are our very lives.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Saturday, June 12, 2010
And so it begins...
Let me start this blog out with the overwhelming thought in my head: My first group comes in tomorrow! ahhh!!
2+ weeks of training, 56 notecards of information, 8 pray tour routes, and too many sandwiches for lunch to count, we are finally ready to start. I'm slightly freaking out, but i'm freaking out with excitement. I get to cohost with Allie--- what a blessing. I love her.
Please pray that we only speak with Christ forming the words, always be in prayer, and that these kids are receptive to the lessons of the city. Be praying for physcial and mental strength for me and my other hosts as we will be exerting ourselves from here on out for the rest of the summer. We will be more tired than we've ever been before and we will be working and serving every minute of every day. Pray for us to be humbled and that we would be instruments through which these kids can learn about the rest of God's children and the realities of this beautiful, incredible city.
Hope. Renewal. Restoration. These are our goals.
2+ weeks of training, 56 notecards of information, 8 pray tour routes, and too many sandwiches for lunch to count, we are finally ready to start. I'm slightly freaking out, but i'm freaking out with excitement. I get to cohost with Allie--- what a blessing. I love her.
Please pray that we only speak with Christ forming the words, always be in prayer, and that these kids are receptive to the lessons of the city. Be praying for physcial and mental strength for me and my other hosts as we will be exerting ourselves from here on out for the rest of the summer. We will be more tired than we've ever been before and we will be working and serving every minute of every day. Pray for us to be humbled and that we would be instruments through which these kids can learn about the rest of God's children and the realities of this beautiful, incredible city.
Hope. Renewal. Restoration. These are our goals.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
God uses Crazy
So this is my first night that I've had to myself since I've been here in the "City of Angels". Every single hour has been planned and spent in training and bonding with the team, so I apologize for taking so long to post an update. It's been a fantasically frantic week!
I'll start out by saying.... I LOVE IT HERE! It is so different from anything I've ever experienced and although I feel so out of place I feel like this is exactly where God wants me. I do miss Flagstaff so much though. I miss the stars, the trees, the people, my mom and dad. I miss being able to breathe. However, LA is beautiful in a different way. I can't breathe my own air because I'm not never alone, and instead I'm sharing my air with many other of God's children. We're all here together, all of us broken people in one place. Just one broken person serving another broken person.
I am living in a small housing site with 7 other hosts (6 girls in one room, two guys in another). We share bathrooms with all of the kids we are hosting because their dorms are attached to our housing. Let me introduce you to my roommates:
Allie
This is Allie. She is the sunshine of the group. She is the most enthusiastic person I have EVER met, and I'm not exaggerating. She gets so excited about every single thing we do and approaches every task like its the most incredible thing she could do. I love her spirit, her complete faith in the God who loves her. She talks to God in prayer like no one I have ever met. In fact, when she prays, she calls Him "Papa G", and goes on to say (in her enthusiastic voice) "You are SO COOL!" Her energy is such an asset to this team.
Ashley
Haha, let me tell you about Ashley. She is HILARIOUS. She is always laughing, making a joke, dancing and fist pumping in the car, and hobbling around just being amazing. Just before she came here from Chicago she ripped her ACL and meniscus in her knee and she still decided to come to the city with a brace and committed to waking up at 5 am in the morning to go to physical therapy. She's a trooper. She is an incredible woman who just never backs down. I have a feeling she will be an unstoppable force that keeps our team going even when we're exhausted and worn down.
Billy
Billy is from Arizona (yay!) and he has an incredible heart for the city of LA. He worked with CSM last summer and felt called to come back, so he's here again to serve and be a part of our team. Billy is so funny and goofy, and his passion for these people is inspiring. He really brings the spirit of servitude to the team and puts us in the mindset that God really IS moving here, our work will move mountains. He's from UofA and is trying to decide if he wants to go back and finish his senior year there or if he wants to follow his calling and move permantely to LA and finish up his schooling out here while continuing his mission work. Be praying for Billy that he sees God's plan for his life and follows it.
Stasi
Stasi is the Mom of the house. She has the maternal instinct down and keeps us safe and smart. She strives to be hospitable and she does an exceptional job at it. Her heart shines through and her love for the people she's working with is a joy to see. We love Stasi and we are praying for her and she prepares to be married next year!
Courtney
Courtney is probably one of my favorite people I've met here so far (not that I have favorites, she's just super awesome). She has so much to offer to the team and God has called her into youth ministry. Her heart for kids shows in everything she does and it has been a blessing to us all. She is a quiet girl until she gets comfortable and when she gets to that point, she is soooooo funny. We love her.
Daniel
Daniel is the sensible one of the household. He always thinks things through and adds his two cents in and if no one listens to him he just sits back and laughs at what happens next. He's super nice and easy going, and a great city driver! He just drove all the girls to Santa Monica in his car where we were all stacked illegally in the backseat and he didn't get us pulled over or killed. We like him
Anna
Anna is one of the most inspirational women I've ever met. She radiates God's love. She is love. She is from South Georgia, is extremely cute and sweet, and just affirms the broken people she comes across. Her testimony shows her amazing heart. I look up to her so much and respect her more than I can describe.
Ok, now that introductions are done I'll give you the highlights of what has happened since our training has started. We've been training for 9 days and it has been nonstop. We wake up around 6-6:30 am every morning and leave in our van to go serve at different ministry sites all day. We get back after dinner, debrief, and usually spend some time together at the site. All in all, we get enough sleep in but we are exhausted. I have a feeling that this is going to indicative of the rest of our summer: we will have to fully rely on our God to give us enough energy to make it through every day. I can't wait to have to trust in that :]
On one of the first days of our training we were split into groups of 4 and given 12 dollars for all of us plus one homeless person to eat. We were walking around the inner city praying and learning about the city itself when we found Wyatt Sylvester. Wyatt is a homeless man in LA who suffers from Scizophrenia, addiction to several drugs including cocaine and heroin, and is an alcoholic. As we sat next to him in Mcdonalds I could smell the urine and stench that permeated his clothes. I could see the cataracts in his eyes and the track marks on his arm from where he had shot up. My heart broke for him, broke with him. He told us he wished he could talk to God but he didn't know how. He said he wanted to go to church but because of his Scizosphrenia he can't be around people without going insane and getting terrified. He knew he was in a cycle of addiction and that he didn't mind. He likes his drugs and he likes his alcohol. He is ok with suffering from insanity and terror as long as he can medicate the symptoms. I asked him if he was taking any steps to change his life and he said "No, but this is just temporary. I won't be like this for long." That was when I realized that Wyatt will never change by me simply taking him out to get food. He is so immersed in his own darkness that unless we pray for his soul, change will not happen. His skid row home will not be temporary unless Wyatt confronts the demons in his soul. Wyatt told me that he wanted a Bible and would love to just sit and read because it soothes him. After we finished we prayed together and he told me where he sleeps at night, where he drinks and smokes as well as and he pan handles on a regular basis so that I could find him again. I can't wait to see him again and talk to him, he seemed pretty excited about the idea of hanging out again. Please be praying for Wyatt and that God gives me another opportunity to see him. I'm carrying around a Bible in case we do have another moment together and I am holding out hope that with prayer and love Wyatt will see a better day.
The main goal of CSM is to provide us with all different cultural experiences. We eat at a different ethnic restaurant every night, we serve at ministry sites that encompass a different racial background staff and volunteers, and we go to churches of different cultures. Basically, we are always the only white people. On Sunday we went to West Angeles church in South LA. It was an African American worship service and it is one of the fasted growing churches in United States. It was BEAUTIFUL service and the worship was phenomenal. (Derrick, if you're reading this, you would have liked it because everyone could clap perfectly on beat) It was such a blessing to see everyone worshipping unhindered and filled with awe for their God.
Perhaps one of the most challenging aspects of any effort for reaching out to the South LA area is the gang activity. LA is home to two main gangs: the Bloods and the Crips. Both gangs were started in Compton and have branched out and moved through South Central and most of the surrounding area. 10% of any given community is active in a gang and there are more who are affiliated and part of a gang but are not active. The war between gangs is one of the longest running civil wars in history and yet it is not often addressed or talked about.
The neighboorhood we live in is home to the Pueblo 52's (a Blood gang), and they live right across the street from us in a housing project. They pretty much leave us alone because they know we are a Christian organization. However, South Central and South LA is known for its gang violence and so many people are shot and killed because of it. People join gangs for several reasons, including protection, money from drug sales, and because of the family atmosphere of the groups. The average age of death for a gang member in SLA is 18 and so many drop of out school and focus soley and earning money and reputation. Why go to school when you're just going to get shot anyways? Children are recruited for gangs at the age of 8. Because of this, a huge goal for us is to intervene in these kid's life and keep them in school and out of gangs. We work with after school programs where we play sports with them, help them with their homework, and mentor them. These are just a few hours but these are precious hours where they are away from the ever-present pressure to join up the gangs. I've been outside around 11:30 pm and seen a few gang members wearing their red but so far gangs have not been a concern.
Perhaps the most incredible story I can tell you is about Sister Luz. Sister Luz is a Filipino missionary who lives in LA and serves the homeless. Sister Luz is crazy. There is no other way to say it. She is literally insane, but so amazing. The Holy spirit lives in her and works through her. She is so in tune to God that she almost seems to prophesy. She has so much faith that God will provide for her every need, her faith can literally move mountains. A great story to prove this is when she got a call from a bill collector saying that she needed to pay $500. She came back to the group and said "We pray. I need $500, I do not have. Let's ask God". As soon as the she finished praying the phone rang again. She answered it and on the other line a lady called to say she was sending a check for $500 that morning. She fully expects God to provide, and he does. It brings to me tears.
She takes all of the expired and rotten food from stores and restaurants and brings it to her house in order to cook for and feed the people she ministers to. Because all of this food is bad, her house smells terrible. There are so many clothes that you can't walk anywhere. Piles of every piece of clothing imaginable is stacked EVERYWHERE in her house, there is not one bare piece of carpet. Or is it tile? I don't even know.
Her kitchen has boxes and boxes of expired food. Cartons and milk sit out in the heat, rotting eggs lay in boxes in the sun, and moldy fruits sit on every inch of her table and counter. She put us to work in front of a huge cauldron of eggs. Billy had to use what was like a paddle from a row boat to stir all of the eggs and we added in old shrimp, mushrooms, and tomatoes. When Sister Luz was satisfied with the eggs we packed it up into our van and drove to a random parking lot that was dirty and empty. Men and women (mostly Hispanic) started arriving and hung out while we unpacked all of the food that Sister Luz was giving away (most of which was rotten). She asked me to set up a microphone and speakers but I couldn't figure out where she would find a source of electricity. I didn't ask though, you don't question Sister Luz. You just do what she asks. A truck pulled up and she plugged it up using the engine for electricity and we started the service in this dirty parking lot.
I was chosen by my team to give my testimony and I did not want to give my story at all. What could a 19 year old white girl from a well-off family in Arizona possibly have to say that a 40 year old poor Mexican immigrant who didn't speak any English? What could I possibly say that would be of any blessing to them? I went into it with this mentality and prayed a prayer that at least one person would get something from my testimony. So I spoke while a translator spoke it in Spanish for these 20 people in this parking lot. After Ashley gave her testimony and Allie gave a sermon, Sister Luz stood up and passionatly spoke about Isaiah 43 and how God will protect you always. There is nothing to fear for our God is with us. She asked if anyone wanted to accept Christ and to my complete surprise, 7 people came to know the Lord right there.
I was praying with a man named Anthony, and as we prayed he was gripping my hand so hard that I thought my fingers would fall off. Tears would pouring down his cheeks; he was bawling as he cried out to the God that he now calls his Father. It was beautiful. He told me that God used my story to speak to him and that he related to my life in so many ways. I still can't believe it. God used my life, my inadequate life, to bring glory to Him; To bring Anthony and 6 others to Him. Praise God. I can't wait to bring my groups to Sister Luz, crazy Sister Luz. God uses her crazy.
I always seem to underestimate God. I tend to have this belief that he won't meet me where I am, won't use me in all of my inadequacies. I always feel average- unable to make enough of an impact to really do anything of any substance. And then he does something that completely blows that mindset out of the water and I see God in all of his glory. His plans are always 100x above and beyond what I foresee. I really should stop placing Him in a box. I love that he uses us, Allie's enthusiasm, Ashley's hilarity, Billy's heart, Anna's love, Courtney's calling, Stasi's nurturing spirit, Daniel's strength, and Sister Luz's crazy for his glory. I love it.
There have been so many more miracles and instances where the Holy Spirit has moved and worked through us. I wish I could tell you all of them but I don't have any more time to tell you. Thank you for your prayers! I miss you guys, and continue to pray for us as we dilligently seek the Lord's will for our work.
I'll start out by saying.... I LOVE IT HERE! It is so different from anything I've ever experienced and although I feel so out of place I feel like this is exactly where God wants me. I do miss Flagstaff so much though. I miss the stars, the trees, the people, my mom and dad. I miss being able to breathe. However, LA is beautiful in a different way. I can't breathe my own air because I'm not never alone, and instead I'm sharing my air with many other of God's children. We're all here together, all of us broken people in one place. Just one broken person serving another broken person.
I am living in a small housing site with 7 other hosts (6 girls in one room, two guys in another). We share bathrooms with all of the kids we are hosting because their dorms are attached to our housing. Let me introduce you to my roommates:
Allie
This is Allie. She is the sunshine of the group. She is the most enthusiastic person I have EVER met, and I'm not exaggerating. She gets so excited about every single thing we do and approaches every task like its the most incredible thing she could do. I love her spirit, her complete faith in the God who loves her. She talks to God in prayer like no one I have ever met. In fact, when she prays, she calls Him "Papa G", and goes on to say (in her enthusiastic voice) "You are SO COOL!" Her energy is such an asset to this team.
Ashley
Haha, let me tell you about Ashley. She is HILARIOUS. She is always laughing, making a joke, dancing and fist pumping in the car, and hobbling around just being amazing. Just before she came here from Chicago she ripped her ACL and meniscus in her knee and she still decided to come to the city with a brace and committed to waking up at 5 am in the morning to go to physical therapy. She's a trooper. She is an incredible woman who just never backs down. I have a feeling she will be an unstoppable force that keeps our team going even when we're exhausted and worn down.
Billy
Billy is from Arizona (yay!) and he has an incredible heart for the city of LA. He worked with CSM last summer and felt called to come back, so he's here again to serve and be a part of our team. Billy is so funny and goofy, and his passion for these people is inspiring. He really brings the spirit of servitude to the team and puts us in the mindset that God really IS moving here, our work will move mountains. He's from UofA and is trying to decide if he wants to go back and finish his senior year there or if he wants to follow his calling and move permantely to LA and finish up his schooling out here while continuing his mission work. Be praying for Billy that he sees God's plan for his life and follows it.
Stasi
Stasi is the Mom of the house. She has the maternal instinct down and keeps us safe and smart. She strives to be hospitable and she does an exceptional job at it. Her heart shines through and her love for the people she's working with is a joy to see. We love Stasi and we are praying for her and she prepares to be married next year!
Courtney
Courtney is probably one of my favorite people I've met here so far (not that I have favorites, she's just super awesome). She has so much to offer to the team and God has called her into youth ministry. Her heart for kids shows in everything she does and it has been a blessing to us all. She is a quiet girl until she gets comfortable and when she gets to that point, she is soooooo funny. We love her.
Daniel
Daniel is the sensible one of the household. He always thinks things through and adds his two cents in and if no one listens to him he just sits back and laughs at what happens next. He's super nice and easy going, and a great city driver! He just drove all the girls to Santa Monica in his car where we were all stacked illegally in the backseat and he didn't get us pulled over or killed. We like him
Anna
Anna is one of the most inspirational women I've ever met. She radiates God's love. She is love. She is from South Georgia, is extremely cute and sweet, and just affirms the broken people she comes across. Her testimony shows her amazing heart. I look up to her so much and respect her more than I can describe.
Ok, now that introductions are done I'll give you the highlights of what has happened since our training has started. We've been training for 9 days and it has been nonstop. We wake up around 6-6:30 am every morning and leave in our van to go serve at different ministry sites all day. We get back after dinner, debrief, and usually spend some time together at the site. All in all, we get enough sleep in but we are exhausted. I have a feeling that this is going to indicative of the rest of our summer: we will have to fully rely on our God to give us enough energy to make it through every day. I can't wait to have to trust in that :]
On one of the first days of our training we were split into groups of 4 and given 12 dollars for all of us plus one homeless person to eat. We were walking around the inner city praying and learning about the city itself when we found Wyatt Sylvester. Wyatt is a homeless man in LA who suffers from Scizophrenia, addiction to several drugs including cocaine and heroin, and is an alcoholic. As we sat next to him in Mcdonalds I could smell the urine and stench that permeated his clothes. I could see the cataracts in his eyes and the track marks on his arm from where he had shot up. My heart broke for him, broke with him. He told us he wished he could talk to God but he didn't know how. He said he wanted to go to church but because of his Scizosphrenia he can't be around people without going insane and getting terrified. He knew he was in a cycle of addiction and that he didn't mind. He likes his drugs and he likes his alcohol. He is ok with suffering from insanity and terror as long as he can medicate the symptoms. I asked him if he was taking any steps to change his life and he said "No, but this is just temporary. I won't be like this for long." That was when I realized that Wyatt will never change by me simply taking him out to get food. He is so immersed in his own darkness that unless we pray for his soul, change will not happen. His skid row home will not be temporary unless Wyatt confronts the demons in his soul. Wyatt told me that he wanted a Bible and would love to just sit and read because it soothes him. After we finished we prayed together and he told me where he sleeps at night, where he drinks and smokes as well as and he pan handles on a regular basis so that I could find him again. I can't wait to see him again and talk to him, he seemed pretty excited about the idea of hanging out again. Please be praying for Wyatt and that God gives me another opportunity to see him. I'm carrying around a Bible in case we do have another moment together and I am holding out hope that with prayer and love Wyatt will see a better day.
The main goal of CSM is to provide us with all different cultural experiences. We eat at a different ethnic restaurant every night, we serve at ministry sites that encompass a different racial background staff and volunteers, and we go to churches of different cultures. Basically, we are always the only white people. On Sunday we went to West Angeles church in South LA. It was an African American worship service and it is one of the fasted growing churches in United States. It was BEAUTIFUL service and the worship was phenomenal. (Derrick, if you're reading this, you would have liked it because everyone could clap perfectly on beat) It was such a blessing to see everyone worshipping unhindered and filled with awe for their God.
Perhaps one of the most challenging aspects of any effort for reaching out to the South LA area is the gang activity. LA is home to two main gangs: the Bloods and the Crips. Both gangs were started in Compton and have branched out and moved through South Central and most of the surrounding area. 10% of any given community is active in a gang and there are more who are affiliated and part of a gang but are not active. The war between gangs is one of the longest running civil wars in history and yet it is not often addressed or talked about.
The neighboorhood we live in is home to the Pueblo 52's (a Blood gang), and they live right across the street from us in a housing project. They pretty much leave us alone because they know we are a Christian organization. However, South Central and South LA is known for its gang violence and so many people are shot and killed because of it. People join gangs for several reasons, including protection, money from drug sales, and because of the family atmosphere of the groups. The average age of death for a gang member in SLA is 18 and so many drop of out school and focus soley and earning money and reputation. Why go to school when you're just going to get shot anyways? Children are recruited for gangs at the age of 8. Because of this, a huge goal for us is to intervene in these kid's life and keep them in school and out of gangs. We work with after school programs where we play sports with them, help them with their homework, and mentor them. These are just a few hours but these are precious hours where they are away from the ever-present pressure to join up the gangs. I've been outside around 11:30 pm and seen a few gang members wearing their red but so far gangs have not been a concern.
Perhaps the most incredible story I can tell you is about Sister Luz. Sister Luz is a Filipino missionary who lives in LA and serves the homeless. Sister Luz is crazy. There is no other way to say it. She is literally insane, but so amazing. The Holy spirit lives in her and works through her. She is so in tune to God that she almost seems to prophesy. She has so much faith that God will provide for her every need, her faith can literally move mountains. A great story to prove this is when she got a call from a bill collector saying that she needed to pay $500. She came back to the group and said "We pray. I need $500, I do not have. Let's ask God". As soon as the she finished praying the phone rang again. She answered it and on the other line a lady called to say she was sending a check for $500 that morning. She fully expects God to provide, and he does. It brings to me tears.
She takes all of the expired and rotten food from stores and restaurants and brings it to her house in order to cook for and feed the people she ministers to. Because all of this food is bad, her house smells terrible. There are so many clothes that you can't walk anywhere. Piles of every piece of clothing imaginable is stacked EVERYWHERE in her house, there is not one bare piece of carpet. Or is it tile? I don't even know.
Her kitchen has boxes and boxes of expired food. Cartons and milk sit out in the heat, rotting eggs lay in boxes in the sun, and moldy fruits sit on every inch of her table and counter. She put us to work in front of a huge cauldron of eggs. Billy had to use what was like a paddle from a row boat to stir all of the eggs and we added in old shrimp, mushrooms, and tomatoes. When Sister Luz was satisfied with the eggs we packed it up into our van and drove to a random parking lot that was dirty and empty. Men and women (mostly Hispanic) started arriving and hung out while we unpacked all of the food that Sister Luz was giving away (most of which was rotten). She asked me to set up a microphone and speakers but I couldn't figure out where she would find a source of electricity. I didn't ask though, you don't question Sister Luz. You just do what she asks. A truck pulled up and she plugged it up using the engine for electricity and we started the service in this dirty parking lot.
I was chosen by my team to give my testimony and I did not want to give my story at all. What could a 19 year old white girl from a well-off family in Arizona possibly have to say that a 40 year old poor Mexican immigrant who didn't speak any English? What could I possibly say that would be of any blessing to them? I went into it with this mentality and prayed a prayer that at least one person would get something from my testimony. So I spoke while a translator spoke it in Spanish for these 20 people in this parking lot. After Ashley gave her testimony and Allie gave a sermon, Sister Luz stood up and passionatly spoke about Isaiah 43 and how God will protect you always. There is nothing to fear for our God is with us. She asked if anyone wanted to accept Christ and to my complete surprise, 7 people came to know the Lord right there.
I was praying with a man named Anthony, and as we prayed he was gripping my hand so hard that I thought my fingers would fall off. Tears would pouring down his cheeks; he was bawling as he cried out to the God that he now calls his Father. It was beautiful. He told me that God used my story to speak to him and that he related to my life in so many ways. I still can't believe it. God used my life, my inadequate life, to bring glory to Him; To bring Anthony and 6 others to Him. Praise God. I can't wait to bring my groups to Sister Luz, crazy Sister Luz. God uses her crazy.
I always seem to underestimate God. I tend to have this belief that he won't meet me where I am, won't use me in all of my inadequacies. I always feel average- unable to make enough of an impact to really do anything of any substance. And then he does something that completely blows that mindset out of the water and I see God in all of his glory. His plans are always 100x above and beyond what I foresee. I really should stop placing Him in a box. I love that he uses us, Allie's enthusiasm, Ashley's hilarity, Billy's heart, Anna's love, Courtney's calling, Stasi's nurturing spirit, Daniel's strength, and Sister Luz's crazy for his glory. I love it.
There have been so many more miracles and instances where the Holy Spirit has moved and worked through us. I wish I could tell you all of them but I don't have any more time to tell you. Thank you for your prayers! I miss you guys, and continue to pray for us as we dilligently seek the Lord's will for our work.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Snowflakes and Sunsets
I think God must detest sameness. At least he has gone to great lengths to avoid it. Every snowflake, every cloud, every flower is unique. He has created and continues to create an endless variety of trees, bugs, sunsets, and beasts. He has created billions of human beings, every one an original. All of nature is an infinite array of individually designed organisms interacting in harmonious praise to its Maker. And humans, created in the very image of their Maker, are given the high privilege of being cocreators with God.
I suspect that one of the results of the fall for humanity was the loss of some of our creativity. Not all of it, of course. We are still quite capable of creating symphonies and paintings and children and other beautiful things. But I think that sin brought with it sameness. Boredom. Monotony. Instead of remaining cocreators with God, we opted for making molds. We began making people in our own image, forcing them into conformity. We traded creativity for cloning. We found that we could accomplish certain ends more efficiently by eliminating faces and personalities and replacing them with numbers and uniforms. Regimentation became our method. We seperated human beings into categories by tasks, colors, intellect, health, age, sex, and cultural definitions of what is beautiful.
Soon bondage and drudgery choked out much of the fun of living. We became isolated from the rich, dynamic interation in which all creation was to participate. We became so accomplished in efficiency that we didn't have time to stop and see the loveliness of snowflakes.
The city. A melting pot. Variety packed together in one place. A collage of humanity. A nightmare to economists. A fright to social engineers. A curse to many.
But the church-- how does it view the city? Church growth experts see the city as a problem because its diversity makes homogeneous grouping difficult to achieve on a large scale. Denominations aren't able to replicate their traditional church models here very well. And keeping alive their traditional church is quite a drain on our resources. The city is making us realize that sameness is a failure.
Maybe, just maybe, God will use the city to remind us that all his unique individual masterpieces clustered together in high rises and housing projects and neighboorhoods bear a reflection of his original design. Perhaps it will be in the city that the church will rediscover the richness of diversity interacting in hard-earned unity.
I wonder why God has selected for our place of final destiny the City of God!
My closing thought: Perhaps God makes each of us differently so that we may not only enjoy his infinite creativity but also learn to love all that He loves.
I suspect that one of the results of the fall for humanity was the loss of some of our creativity. Not all of it, of course. We are still quite capable of creating symphonies and paintings and children and other beautiful things. But I think that sin brought with it sameness. Boredom. Monotony. Instead of remaining cocreators with God, we opted for making molds. We began making people in our own image, forcing them into conformity. We traded creativity for cloning. We found that we could accomplish certain ends more efficiently by eliminating faces and personalities and replacing them with numbers and uniforms. Regimentation became our method. We seperated human beings into categories by tasks, colors, intellect, health, age, sex, and cultural definitions of what is beautiful.
Soon bondage and drudgery choked out much of the fun of living. We became isolated from the rich, dynamic interation in which all creation was to participate. We became so accomplished in efficiency that we didn't have time to stop and see the loveliness of snowflakes.
The city. A melting pot. Variety packed together in one place. A collage of humanity. A nightmare to economists. A fright to social engineers. A curse to many.
But the church-- how does it view the city? Church growth experts see the city as a problem because its diversity makes homogeneous grouping difficult to achieve on a large scale. Denominations aren't able to replicate their traditional church models here very well. And keeping alive their traditional church is quite a drain on our resources. The city is making us realize that sameness is a failure.
Maybe, just maybe, God will use the city to remind us that all his unique individual masterpieces clustered together in high rises and housing projects and neighboorhoods bear a reflection of his original design. Perhaps it will be in the city that the church will rediscover the richness of diversity interacting in hard-earned unity.
I wonder why God has selected for our place of final destiny the City of God!
My closing thought: Perhaps God makes each of us differently so that we may not only enjoy his infinite creativity but also learn to love all that He loves.
Thank you Robert Lupton for your incredible insight. I would encourage all of you to read his book "Theirs is the Kingdom: Celebrating the Gospel in Urban America" (If you didn't catch it, this was my inspiration for the blog title!). It will challenge you, change you, and its worth it. It's a short read, just 120 pages. The book is just a bunch of short memories and reflections on Lupton's 18 years of mission work in an inner city.
Preparation time!
Hola!
I made a promise to several people that I would document my time in Los Angeles and keep a running update for everyone praying for and thinking of the incredible ministry that is happening in inner city LA. I want to start this blog out by saying: I am a TERRIBLE blogger. I find myself unmotivated and without words to adequately describe what I am experiencing, so if you come here to check for an update and there isn't one, nag me. I want to be diligent in sharing the stories of how God is moving and I may need some gentle reminders :]
May 25th is getting nearer and nearer. Just 14 more days until I pack up a summer's worth of things and relocate up to California to meet my new roommates/coworkers and start the intensive training for city hosting. There is this overwhelming mixture of excitement and fright as I think about it and I'm not sure which emotion is currently winning. There is so much to prepare for, to pray for, to do. And yet, at the same time, I just have to go. Just go.
As I'm getting ready to experience life in a completely new way, I can't help but feel inadequate. I feel like my heart does not know the depth of compassion that is required for this, that my mind is not fully focused on serving and using this opportunity for unbridled love, that I am so ignorant in the truth of the way my brothers and sisters live down in the inner city. But thats the beauty in this. I have SO MUCH growth ahead of me; God is going to be molding me and forming me into the woman who IS meant to be there. I can't wait to learn from these people-- to get my hands dirty in their lives. I am still in shock that God thinks I can do this. That gives me hope that maybe he will work through me to further His Kingdom somehow. What an incredible blessing. Thank you, beautiful Savior.
I tend to believe that I know God's plan for me, that I can anticipate how he will use me. But I know thats not how it is. I can't even begin to imagine the reality of God's path for me this summer: how he will break my heart, open my eyes, teach me. All I can ask is that in every moment of every day I am taken away from my own reality, my way of life. I want to be fully immersed in experiencing every second of this life; seeing something new around every corner, in every face. I pray that with each day I am brought to my knees so that I can see the purpose in His sacrifice. Maybe by being face down in front of it, eye-level with the base of the wood, I can see how the ground is even at the foot of the cross. These people are not my 'charity cases', but they are my salvation. I pray that my own humanity (pride, superiority complex, possessions) does not subtract from this journey.
In Luke, Christ says "Blessed are the poor, for theirs is the Kingdom of God" (Luke 6:20). It makes me wonder, are my values different than those of God's Kingdom? Is it true that those who are monetarily blessed enter with greater difficulty? I don't necessarily think its the money itself that is our stumbling point, but the mindset that tends to accompany this gift of security. We see ourselves as harder-working, more dedicated, cleaner, more sane, more loved. In a nut shell: we believe ourselves to be better. But Christ says that lesser is greater. It seems to me that the Lord's wisdom is found in lesser cirumstances. Kevin Blue put it great when he said "The Lord himself is found among the poor. The kingdom of God is found in the dirty, grimy, common places of the world. And in his presence, we are all changed."
Thank you for your constant prayer and spiritual support. I'll be keeping you guys updated!
Blessings,
Em
I made a promise to several people that I would document my time in Los Angeles and keep a running update for everyone praying for and thinking of the incredible ministry that is happening in inner city LA. I want to start this blog out by saying: I am a TERRIBLE blogger. I find myself unmotivated and without words to adequately describe what I am experiencing, so if you come here to check for an update and there isn't one, nag me. I want to be diligent in sharing the stories of how God is moving and I may need some gentle reminders :]
May 25th is getting nearer and nearer. Just 14 more days until I pack up a summer's worth of things and relocate up to California to meet my new roommates/coworkers and start the intensive training for city hosting. There is this overwhelming mixture of excitement and fright as I think about it and I'm not sure which emotion is currently winning. There is so much to prepare for, to pray for, to do. And yet, at the same time, I just have to go. Just go.
As I'm getting ready to experience life in a completely new way, I can't help but feel inadequate. I feel like my heart does not know the depth of compassion that is required for this, that my mind is not fully focused on serving and using this opportunity for unbridled love, that I am so ignorant in the truth of the way my brothers and sisters live down in the inner city. But thats the beauty in this. I have SO MUCH growth ahead of me; God is going to be molding me and forming me into the woman who IS meant to be there. I can't wait to learn from these people-- to get my hands dirty in their lives. I am still in shock that God thinks I can do this. That gives me hope that maybe he will work through me to further His Kingdom somehow. What an incredible blessing. Thank you, beautiful Savior.
I tend to believe that I know God's plan for me, that I can anticipate how he will use me. But I know thats not how it is. I can't even begin to imagine the reality of God's path for me this summer: how he will break my heart, open my eyes, teach me. All I can ask is that in every moment of every day I am taken away from my own reality, my way of life. I want to be fully immersed in experiencing every second of this life; seeing something new around every corner, in every face. I pray that with each day I am brought to my knees so that I can see the purpose in His sacrifice. Maybe by being face down in front of it, eye-level with the base of the wood, I can see how the ground is even at the foot of the cross. These people are not my 'charity cases', but they are my salvation. I pray that my own humanity (pride, superiority complex, possessions) does not subtract from this journey.
In Luke, Christ says "Blessed are the poor, for theirs is the Kingdom of God" (Luke 6:20). It makes me wonder, are my values different than those of God's Kingdom? Is it true that those who are monetarily blessed enter with greater difficulty? I don't necessarily think its the money itself that is our stumbling point, but the mindset that tends to accompany this gift of security. We see ourselves as harder-working, more dedicated, cleaner, more sane, more loved. In a nut shell: we believe ourselves to be better. But Christ says that lesser is greater. It seems to me that the Lord's wisdom is found in lesser cirumstances. Kevin Blue put it great when he said "The Lord himself is found among the poor. The kingdom of God is found in the dirty, grimy, common places of the world. And in his presence, we are all changed."
Thank you for your constant prayer and spiritual support. I'll be keeping you guys updated!
Blessings,
Em
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