Let me start this blog out with the overwhelming thought in my head: My first group comes in tomorrow! ahhh!!
2+ weeks of training, 56 notecards of information, 8 pray tour routes, and too many sandwiches for lunch to count, we are finally ready to start. I'm slightly freaking out, but i'm freaking out with excitement. I get to cohost with Allie--- what a blessing. I love her.
Please pray that we only speak with Christ forming the words, always be in prayer, and that these kids are receptive to the lessons of the city. Be praying for physcial and mental strength for me and my other hosts as we will be exerting ourselves from here on out for the rest of the summer. We will be more tired than we've ever been before and we will be working and serving every minute of every day. Pray for us to be humbled and that we would be instruments through which these kids can learn about the rest of God's children and the realities of this beautiful, incredible city.
Hope. Renewal. Restoration. These are our goals.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
God uses Crazy
So this is my first night that I've had to myself since I've been here in the "City of Angels". Every single hour has been planned and spent in training and bonding with the team, so I apologize for taking so long to post an update. It's been a fantasically frantic week!
I'll start out by saying.... I LOVE IT HERE! It is so different from anything I've ever experienced and although I feel so out of place I feel like this is exactly where God wants me. I do miss Flagstaff so much though. I miss the stars, the trees, the people, my mom and dad. I miss being able to breathe. However, LA is beautiful in a different way. I can't breathe my own air because I'm not never alone, and instead I'm sharing my air with many other of God's children. We're all here together, all of us broken people in one place. Just one broken person serving another broken person.
I am living in a small housing site with 7 other hosts (6 girls in one room, two guys in another). We share bathrooms with all of the kids we are hosting because their dorms are attached to our housing. Let me introduce you to my roommates:
Allie
This is Allie. She is the sunshine of the group. She is the most enthusiastic person I have EVER met, and I'm not exaggerating. She gets so excited about every single thing we do and approaches every task like its the most incredible thing she could do. I love her spirit, her complete faith in the God who loves her. She talks to God in prayer like no one I have ever met. In fact, when she prays, she calls Him "Papa G", and goes on to say (in her enthusiastic voice) "You are SO COOL!" Her energy is such an asset to this team.
Ashley
Haha, let me tell you about Ashley. She is HILARIOUS. She is always laughing, making a joke, dancing and fist pumping in the car, and hobbling around just being amazing. Just before she came here from Chicago she ripped her ACL and meniscus in her knee and she still decided to come to the city with a brace and committed to waking up at 5 am in the morning to go to physical therapy. She's a trooper. She is an incredible woman who just never backs down. I have a feeling she will be an unstoppable force that keeps our team going even when we're exhausted and worn down.
Billy
Billy is from Arizona (yay!) and he has an incredible heart for the city of LA. He worked with CSM last summer and felt called to come back, so he's here again to serve and be a part of our team. Billy is so funny and goofy, and his passion for these people is inspiring. He really brings the spirit of servitude to the team and puts us in the mindset that God really IS moving here, our work will move mountains. He's from UofA and is trying to decide if he wants to go back and finish his senior year there or if he wants to follow his calling and move permantely to LA and finish up his schooling out here while continuing his mission work. Be praying for Billy that he sees God's plan for his life and follows it.
Stasi
Stasi is the Mom of the house. She has the maternal instinct down and keeps us safe and smart. She strives to be hospitable and she does an exceptional job at it. Her heart shines through and her love for the people she's working with is a joy to see. We love Stasi and we are praying for her and she prepares to be married next year!
Courtney
Courtney is probably one of my favorite people I've met here so far (not that I have favorites, she's just super awesome). She has so much to offer to the team and God has called her into youth ministry. Her heart for kids shows in everything she does and it has been a blessing to us all. She is a quiet girl until she gets comfortable and when she gets to that point, she is soooooo funny. We love her.
Daniel
Daniel is the sensible one of the household. He always thinks things through and adds his two cents in and if no one listens to him he just sits back and laughs at what happens next. He's super nice and easy going, and a great city driver! He just drove all the girls to Santa Monica in his car where we were all stacked illegally in the backseat and he didn't get us pulled over or killed. We like him
Anna
Anna is one of the most inspirational women I've ever met. She radiates God's love. She is love. She is from South Georgia, is extremely cute and sweet, and just affirms the broken people she comes across. Her testimony shows her amazing heart. I look up to her so much and respect her more than I can describe.
Ok, now that introductions are done I'll give you the highlights of what has happened since our training has started. We've been training for 9 days and it has been nonstop. We wake up around 6-6:30 am every morning and leave in our van to go serve at different ministry sites all day. We get back after dinner, debrief, and usually spend some time together at the site. All in all, we get enough sleep in but we are exhausted. I have a feeling that this is going to indicative of the rest of our summer: we will have to fully rely on our God to give us enough energy to make it through every day. I can't wait to have to trust in that :]
On one of the first days of our training we were split into groups of 4 and given 12 dollars for all of us plus one homeless person to eat. We were walking around the inner city praying and learning about the city itself when we found Wyatt Sylvester. Wyatt is a homeless man in LA who suffers from Scizophrenia, addiction to several drugs including cocaine and heroin, and is an alcoholic. As we sat next to him in Mcdonalds I could smell the urine and stench that permeated his clothes. I could see the cataracts in his eyes and the track marks on his arm from where he had shot up. My heart broke for him, broke with him. He told us he wished he could talk to God but he didn't know how. He said he wanted to go to church but because of his Scizosphrenia he can't be around people without going insane and getting terrified. He knew he was in a cycle of addiction and that he didn't mind. He likes his drugs and he likes his alcohol. He is ok with suffering from insanity and terror as long as he can medicate the symptoms. I asked him if he was taking any steps to change his life and he said "No, but this is just temporary. I won't be like this for long." That was when I realized that Wyatt will never change by me simply taking him out to get food. He is so immersed in his own darkness that unless we pray for his soul, change will not happen. His skid row home will not be temporary unless Wyatt confronts the demons in his soul. Wyatt told me that he wanted a Bible and would love to just sit and read because it soothes him. After we finished we prayed together and he told me where he sleeps at night, where he drinks and smokes as well as and he pan handles on a regular basis so that I could find him again. I can't wait to see him again and talk to him, he seemed pretty excited about the idea of hanging out again. Please be praying for Wyatt and that God gives me another opportunity to see him. I'm carrying around a Bible in case we do have another moment together and I am holding out hope that with prayer and love Wyatt will see a better day.
The main goal of CSM is to provide us with all different cultural experiences. We eat at a different ethnic restaurant every night, we serve at ministry sites that encompass a different racial background staff and volunteers, and we go to churches of different cultures. Basically, we are always the only white people. On Sunday we went to West Angeles church in South LA. It was an African American worship service and it is one of the fasted growing churches in United States. It was BEAUTIFUL service and the worship was phenomenal. (Derrick, if you're reading this, you would have liked it because everyone could clap perfectly on beat) It was such a blessing to see everyone worshipping unhindered and filled with awe for their God.
Perhaps one of the most challenging aspects of any effort for reaching out to the South LA area is the gang activity. LA is home to two main gangs: the Bloods and the Crips. Both gangs were started in Compton and have branched out and moved through South Central and most of the surrounding area. 10% of any given community is active in a gang and there are more who are affiliated and part of a gang but are not active. The war between gangs is one of the longest running civil wars in history and yet it is not often addressed or talked about.
The neighboorhood we live in is home to the Pueblo 52's (a Blood gang), and they live right across the street from us in a housing project. They pretty much leave us alone because they know we are a Christian organization. However, South Central and South LA is known for its gang violence and so many people are shot and killed because of it. People join gangs for several reasons, including protection, money from drug sales, and because of the family atmosphere of the groups. The average age of death for a gang member in SLA is 18 and so many drop of out school and focus soley and earning money and reputation. Why go to school when you're just going to get shot anyways? Children are recruited for gangs at the age of 8. Because of this, a huge goal for us is to intervene in these kid's life and keep them in school and out of gangs. We work with after school programs where we play sports with them, help them with their homework, and mentor them. These are just a few hours but these are precious hours where they are away from the ever-present pressure to join up the gangs. I've been outside around 11:30 pm and seen a few gang members wearing their red but so far gangs have not been a concern.
Perhaps the most incredible story I can tell you is about Sister Luz. Sister Luz is a Filipino missionary who lives in LA and serves the homeless. Sister Luz is crazy. There is no other way to say it. She is literally insane, but so amazing. The Holy spirit lives in her and works through her. She is so in tune to God that she almost seems to prophesy. She has so much faith that God will provide for her every need, her faith can literally move mountains. A great story to prove this is when she got a call from a bill collector saying that she needed to pay $500. She came back to the group and said "We pray. I need $500, I do not have. Let's ask God". As soon as the she finished praying the phone rang again. She answered it and on the other line a lady called to say she was sending a check for $500 that morning. She fully expects God to provide, and he does. It brings to me tears.
She takes all of the expired and rotten food from stores and restaurants and brings it to her house in order to cook for and feed the people she ministers to. Because all of this food is bad, her house smells terrible. There are so many clothes that you can't walk anywhere. Piles of every piece of clothing imaginable is stacked EVERYWHERE in her house, there is not one bare piece of carpet. Or is it tile? I don't even know.
Her kitchen has boxes and boxes of expired food. Cartons and milk sit out in the heat, rotting eggs lay in boxes in the sun, and moldy fruits sit on every inch of her table and counter. She put us to work in front of a huge cauldron of eggs. Billy had to use what was like a paddle from a row boat to stir all of the eggs and we added in old shrimp, mushrooms, and tomatoes. When Sister Luz was satisfied with the eggs we packed it up into our van and drove to a random parking lot that was dirty and empty. Men and women (mostly Hispanic) started arriving and hung out while we unpacked all of the food that Sister Luz was giving away (most of which was rotten). She asked me to set up a microphone and speakers but I couldn't figure out where she would find a source of electricity. I didn't ask though, you don't question Sister Luz. You just do what she asks. A truck pulled up and she plugged it up using the engine for electricity and we started the service in this dirty parking lot.
I was chosen by my team to give my testimony and I did not want to give my story at all. What could a 19 year old white girl from a well-off family in Arizona possibly have to say that a 40 year old poor Mexican immigrant who didn't speak any English? What could I possibly say that would be of any blessing to them? I went into it with this mentality and prayed a prayer that at least one person would get something from my testimony. So I spoke while a translator spoke it in Spanish for these 20 people in this parking lot. After Ashley gave her testimony and Allie gave a sermon, Sister Luz stood up and passionatly spoke about Isaiah 43 and how God will protect you always. There is nothing to fear for our God is with us. She asked if anyone wanted to accept Christ and to my complete surprise, 7 people came to know the Lord right there.
I was praying with a man named Anthony, and as we prayed he was gripping my hand so hard that I thought my fingers would fall off. Tears would pouring down his cheeks; he was bawling as he cried out to the God that he now calls his Father. It was beautiful. He told me that God used my story to speak to him and that he related to my life in so many ways. I still can't believe it. God used my life, my inadequate life, to bring glory to Him; To bring Anthony and 6 others to Him. Praise God. I can't wait to bring my groups to Sister Luz, crazy Sister Luz. God uses her crazy.
I always seem to underestimate God. I tend to have this belief that he won't meet me where I am, won't use me in all of my inadequacies. I always feel average- unable to make enough of an impact to really do anything of any substance. And then he does something that completely blows that mindset out of the water and I see God in all of his glory. His plans are always 100x above and beyond what I foresee. I really should stop placing Him in a box. I love that he uses us, Allie's enthusiasm, Ashley's hilarity, Billy's heart, Anna's love, Courtney's calling, Stasi's nurturing spirit, Daniel's strength, and Sister Luz's crazy for his glory. I love it.
There have been so many more miracles and instances where the Holy Spirit has moved and worked through us. I wish I could tell you all of them but I don't have any more time to tell you. Thank you for your prayers! I miss you guys, and continue to pray for us as we dilligently seek the Lord's will for our work.
I'll start out by saying.... I LOVE IT HERE! It is so different from anything I've ever experienced and although I feel so out of place I feel like this is exactly where God wants me. I do miss Flagstaff so much though. I miss the stars, the trees, the people, my mom and dad. I miss being able to breathe. However, LA is beautiful in a different way. I can't breathe my own air because I'm not never alone, and instead I'm sharing my air with many other of God's children. We're all here together, all of us broken people in one place. Just one broken person serving another broken person.
I am living in a small housing site with 7 other hosts (6 girls in one room, two guys in another). We share bathrooms with all of the kids we are hosting because their dorms are attached to our housing. Let me introduce you to my roommates:
Allie
This is Allie. She is the sunshine of the group. She is the most enthusiastic person I have EVER met, and I'm not exaggerating. She gets so excited about every single thing we do and approaches every task like its the most incredible thing she could do. I love her spirit, her complete faith in the God who loves her. She talks to God in prayer like no one I have ever met. In fact, when she prays, she calls Him "Papa G", and goes on to say (in her enthusiastic voice) "You are SO COOL!" Her energy is such an asset to this team.
Ashley
Haha, let me tell you about Ashley. She is HILARIOUS. She is always laughing, making a joke, dancing and fist pumping in the car, and hobbling around just being amazing. Just before she came here from Chicago she ripped her ACL and meniscus in her knee and she still decided to come to the city with a brace and committed to waking up at 5 am in the morning to go to physical therapy. She's a trooper. She is an incredible woman who just never backs down. I have a feeling she will be an unstoppable force that keeps our team going even when we're exhausted and worn down.
Billy
Billy is from Arizona (yay!) and he has an incredible heart for the city of LA. He worked with CSM last summer and felt called to come back, so he's here again to serve and be a part of our team. Billy is so funny and goofy, and his passion for these people is inspiring. He really brings the spirit of servitude to the team and puts us in the mindset that God really IS moving here, our work will move mountains. He's from UofA and is trying to decide if he wants to go back and finish his senior year there or if he wants to follow his calling and move permantely to LA and finish up his schooling out here while continuing his mission work. Be praying for Billy that he sees God's plan for his life and follows it.
Stasi
Stasi is the Mom of the house. She has the maternal instinct down and keeps us safe and smart. She strives to be hospitable and she does an exceptional job at it. Her heart shines through and her love for the people she's working with is a joy to see. We love Stasi and we are praying for her and she prepares to be married next year!
Courtney
Courtney is probably one of my favorite people I've met here so far (not that I have favorites, she's just super awesome). She has so much to offer to the team and God has called her into youth ministry. Her heart for kids shows in everything she does and it has been a blessing to us all. She is a quiet girl until she gets comfortable and when she gets to that point, she is soooooo funny. We love her.
Daniel
Daniel is the sensible one of the household. He always thinks things through and adds his two cents in and if no one listens to him he just sits back and laughs at what happens next. He's super nice and easy going, and a great city driver! He just drove all the girls to Santa Monica in his car where we were all stacked illegally in the backseat and he didn't get us pulled over or killed. We like him
Anna
Anna is one of the most inspirational women I've ever met. She radiates God's love. She is love. She is from South Georgia, is extremely cute and sweet, and just affirms the broken people she comes across. Her testimony shows her amazing heart. I look up to her so much and respect her more than I can describe.
Ok, now that introductions are done I'll give you the highlights of what has happened since our training has started. We've been training for 9 days and it has been nonstop. We wake up around 6-6:30 am every morning and leave in our van to go serve at different ministry sites all day. We get back after dinner, debrief, and usually spend some time together at the site. All in all, we get enough sleep in but we are exhausted. I have a feeling that this is going to indicative of the rest of our summer: we will have to fully rely on our God to give us enough energy to make it through every day. I can't wait to have to trust in that :]
On one of the first days of our training we were split into groups of 4 and given 12 dollars for all of us plus one homeless person to eat. We were walking around the inner city praying and learning about the city itself when we found Wyatt Sylvester. Wyatt is a homeless man in LA who suffers from Scizophrenia, addiction to several drugs including cocaine and heroin, and is an alcoholic. As we sat next to him in Mcdonalds I could smell the urine and stench that permeated his clothes. I could see the cataracts in his eyes and the track marks on his arm from where he had shot up. My heart broke for him, broke with him. He told us he wished he could talk to God but he didn't know how. He said he wanted to go to church but because of his Scizosphrenia he can't be around people without going insane and getting terrified. He knew he was in a cycle of addiction and that he didn't mind. He likes his drugs and he likes his alcohol. He is ok with suffering from insanity and terror as long as he can medicate the symptoms. I asked him if he was taking any steps to change his life and he said "No, but this is just temporary. I won't be like this for long." That was when I realized that Wyatt will never change by me simply taking him out to get food. He is so immersed in his own darkness that unless we pray for his soul, change will not happen. His skid row home will not be temporary unless Wyatt confronts the demons in his soul. Wyatt told me that he wanted a Bible and would love to just sit and read because it soothes him. After we finished we prayed together and he told me where he sleeps at night, where he drinks and smokes as well as and he pan handles on a regular basis so that I could find him again. I can't wait to see him again and talk to him, he seemed pretty excited about the idea of hanging out again. Please be praying for Wyatt and that God gives me another opportunity to see him. I'm carrying around a Bible in case we do have another moment together and I am holding out hope that with prayer and love Wyatt will see a better day.
The main goal of CSM is to provide us with all different cultural experiences. We eat at a different ethnic restaurant every night, we serve at ministry sites that encompass a different racial background staff and volunteers, and we go to churches of different cultures. Basically, we are always the only white people. On Sunday we went to West Angeles church in South LA. It was an African American worship service and it is one of the fasted growing churches in United States. It was BEAUTIFUL service and the worship was phenomenal. (Derrick, if you're reading this, you would have liked it because everyone could clap perfectly on beat) It was such a blessing to see everyone worshipping unhindered and filled with awe for their God.
Perhaps one of the most challenging aspects of any effort for reaching out to the South LA area is the gang activity. LA is home to two main gangs: the Bloods and the Crips. Both gangs were started in Compton and have branched out and moved through South Central and most of the surrounding area. 10% of any given community is active in a gang and there are more who are affiliated and part of a gang but are not active. The war between gangs is one of the longest running civil wars in history and yet it is not often addressed or talked about.
The neighboorhood we live in is home to the Pueblo 52's (a Blood gang), and they live right across the street from us in a housing project. They pretty much leave us alone because they know we are a Christian organization. However, South Central and South LA is known for its gang violence and so many people are shot and killed because of it. People join gangs for several reasons, including protection, money from drug sales, and because of the family atmosphere of the groups. The average age of death for a gang member in SLA is 18 and so many drop of out school and focus soley and earning money and reputation. Why go to school when you're just going to get shot anyways? Children are recruited for gangs at the age of 8. Because of this, a huge goal for us is to intervene in these kid's life and keep them in school and out of gangs. We work with after school programs where we play sports with them, help them with their homework, and mentor them. These are just a few hours but these are precious hours where they are away from the ever-present pressure to join up the gangs. I've been outside around 11:30 pm and seen a few gang members wearing their red but so far gangs have not been a concern.
Perhaps the most incredible story I can tell you is about Sister Luz. Sister Luz is a Filipino missionary who lives in LA and serves the homeless. Sister Luz is crazy. There is no other way to say it. She is literally insane, but so amazing. The Holy spirit lives in her and works through her. She is so in tune to God that she almost seems to prophesy. She has so much faith that God will provide for her every need, her faith can literally move mountains. A great story to prove this is when she got a call from a bill collector saying that she needed to pay $500. She came back to the group and said "We pray. I need $500, I do not have. Let's ask God". As soon as the she finished praying the phone rang again. She answered it and on the other line a lady called to say she was sending a check for $500 that morning. She fully expects God to provide, and he does. It brings to me tears.
She takes all of the expired and rotten food from stores and restaurants and brings it to her house in order to cook for and feed the people she ministers to. Because all of this food is bad, her house smells terrible. There are so many clothes that you can't walk anywhere. Piles of every piece of clothing imaginable is stacked EVERYWHERE in her house, there is not one bare piece of carpet. Or is it tile? I don't even know.
Her kitchen has boxes and boxes of expired food. Cartons and milk sit out in the heat, rotting eggs lay in boxes in the sun, and moldy fruits sit on every inch of her table and counter. She put us to work in front of a huge cauldron of eggs. Billy had to use what was like a paddle from a row boat to stir all of the eggs and we added in old shrimp, mushrooms, and tomatoes. When Sister Luz was satisfied with the eggs we packed it up into our van and drove to a random parking lot that was dirty and empty. Men and women (mostly Hispanic) started arriving and hung out while we unpacked all of the food that Sister Luz was giving away (most of which was rotten). She asked me to set up a microphone and speakers but I couldn't figure out where she would find a source of electricity. I didn't ask though, you don't question Sister Luz. You just do what she asks. A truck pulled up and she plugged it up using the engine for electricity and we started the service in this dirty parking lot.
I was chosen by my team to give my testimony and I did not want to give my story at all. What could a 19 year old white girl from a well-off family in Arizona possibly have to say that a 40 year old poor Mexican immigrant who didn't speak any English? What could I possibly say that would be of any blessing to them? I went into it with this mentality and prayed a prayer that at least one person would get something from my testimony. So I spoke while a translator spoke it in Spanish for these 20 people in this parking lot. After Ashley gave her testimony and Allie gave a sermon, Sister Luz stood up and passionatly spoke about Isaiah 43 and how God will protect you always. There is nothing to fear for our God is with us. She asked if anyone wanted to accept Christ and to my complete surprise, 7 people came to know the Lord right there.
I was praying with a man named Anthony, and as we prayed he was gripping my hand so hard that I thought my fingers would fall off. Tears would pouring down his cheeks; he was bawling as he cried out to the God that he now calls his Father. It was beautiful. He told me that God used my story to speak to him and that he related to my life in so many ways. I still can't believe it. God used my life, my inadequate life, to bring glory to Him; To bring Anthony and 6 others to Him. Praise God. I can't wait to bring my groups to Sister Luz, crazy Sister Luz. God uses her crazy.
I always seem to underestimate God. I tend to have this belief that he won't meet me where I am, won't use me in all of my inadequacies. I always feel average- unable to make enough of an impact to really do anything of any substance. And then he does something that completely blows that mindset out of the water and I see God in all of his glory. His plans are always 100x above and beyond what I foresee. I really should stop placing Him in a box. I love that he uses us, Allie's enthusiasm, Ashley's hilarity, Billy's heart, Anna's love, Courtney's calling, Stasi's nurturing spirit, Daniel's strength, and Sister Luz's crazy for his glory. I love it.
There have been so many more miracles and instances where the Holy Spirit has moved and worked through us. I wish I could tell you all of them but I don't have any more time to tell you. Thank you for your prayers! I miss you guys, and continue to pray for us as we dilligently seek the Lord's will for our work.
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